Chapter 63
He nodded.
“I figured you needed space, that you wouldn’t want to hear from me right away.” I glanced down at the crease of his t-shirt, the neatly sown hem. “I was scared of what you’d say when I did.”
“Of what I’d say?”
“Yeah.””I’m more interested in hearing what you think.”
I took a deep breath and met his gaze, willing it to grow soft and familiar again. “I’ve thought a lot about what I said to you last week, both at the bar and the day before. That I expected us to end.”
Julian glanced away, a muscle in his jaw flexing. “You had already planned for it.”
“I’d resigned myself to it being a just fling. You were right about what you said: I’d never really given the idea of us a real chance.”
“Why?”
Understanding my own emotions and actions was difficult enough sometimes, not to mention explaining them to him. But I had had three days to think this through.
“Because you’re too good to be true. Because I can’t fathom why you’d see a future with me. Because… I didn’t think you were a relationship kind of guy. Because we work together. Because for the past five years, Turner has been my main worry and whoever dates me, gets Turner too.” I glanced back at him. “I was so focused on what I potentially had to lose that I didn’t think about what I stood to gain.”
He nodded and looked at the box of cookies on the table absent-mindedly, deep in thought.
“White chocolate chip macadamia,” I murmured. “I brought out the big guns.”
He didn’t smile, but his eyes softened when he looked back at me. “You didn’t think I was a relationship kind of guy,” he quoted. “Was it something I did? I tried to show you that I wanted more than just sex.”
“No! No, absolutely not. I really need you to know that.” I reached out and grabbed his hand. “The reason I didn’t commit to the idea was never because I didn’t want more with you. I guess I was just… protecting my heart?”
My throat grew dry as I met his deep, steady gaze. This was an adult conversation about an adult relationship with a man who knew what he wanted and the way he wanted it. It scared the hell out of me just as much as it excited me.
“I’m sorry for hurting you. I never meant to.”
Julian exhaled and looked down at our clasped hands. “I can understand that, I think. Besides, it’s not like I’ve been blameless. I have something to apologize for too.”
“You do?” Unease churned in my stomach, and the image of the bimbo reappeared immediately. I shoved her unwelcome image away. Julian would never.
He sighed. “I knew you wanted to keep what we had private from our coworkers. I said I respected that, and I believed I did, but my actions sometimes said otherwise. I’m sorry I didn’t do a better job of listening to your signals.” His hand squeezed my fingers.
My chest ached suddenly with tenderness. I wanted to reach out and smooth away the crease of worry between his thick brows, trace the line of his jaw until he relaxed.
“No, Julian, you were great. You are great. I’m sorry I didn’t properly explain why it mattered so much to me. I never wanted you to feel like I didn’t value what we had.”
“Had?”
“Have,” I corrected. “If you’ll still have me.”
“If,” he murmured darkly. “As if I’d ever turn you away, Ace.”
Julian opened his arms for me, and I shifted forward, smiling as I settled onto his lap. Our bodies fit together comfortably, finding their way through the awkwardness. He smelled of aftershave and Julian, the way that only he smelled. I pressed my hand against his chest, right where his heart beat steadily against my palm.
“I missed you,” I murmured into the warmth of his neck.
Julian’s arms pulled me tighter against him. “I missed you too. I feared you wouldn’t talk to me again.”
I pulled back. “You thought I’d ghost you?”
His hand tugged on a silky strand of my hair, not meeting my eyes. “I had faith that you wouldn’t. But I’d seen your anger that night, and I know you value your independence. I couldn’t be sure you would choose to come back to me.”
Softly, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. I poured everything we weren’t ready to say yet into that kiss-my respect, my desire, my love-all for him. Julian kissed me gently, reverently, his hands stroking my sides until I had to pull away.
His mouth quirked up into his familiar crooked smile, the one he used when he was fully himself and in a playful mood.
“I have two conditions.”
“Okay. Name them.”
“I want you to delete Burn from your phone.”
Shame colored my cheeks, but for this I had already made amends. “Already done. I deleted it immediately, the very same night. I’ve already matched with you and I don’t need anyone else.”
His thumb traced my side, smoothing little circles on my ribs and sending goosebumps along my skin.
“The second condition?”
“That you spend at least an hour every day doing this.” Julian lifted my hand up to the nape of his neck, his eyes shuttering when my fingers curled into his thick hair.
I laughed. “You’re like a very large, very masculine cat.”
“I think that’s just called a lion,” he replied. “Thanks. ”
“I don’t think I can manage an hour of this every day. I have to go to work, you see. My boss is very demanding.”
Julian shook his head. “I’ve already cleared it with HR. It’s a new company-wide policy.”
I smiled and watched the dark of his lashes against his tanned skin and reveled in the strength of his arms around me, the thickness of muscles in the thighs beneath me and the hair that curled at his temples.NôvelDrama.Org © content.
Julian Hunt was a legend, but he was also a man, and he was mine.
“I have a condition, too,” I said, my fingers still stroking his neck. It was corded with muscle under my touch.
“Tell me.””I told Turner about us yesterday.”
Julian stilled. “Did you really?”
“Yes. He was happy about it.”
“He was?”
“Yeah.” I smiled at his dazed expression and leaned in closer, pressing my lips to his. “Will you come to dinner at our house tonight?”