Chapter 97
“Well, kind of” he replies, laughing louder now, freer. “I mean, I just didn’t let my mind go there before. You were just another guy. A little shrimpy one who I liked hanging out with, and who I worried about sometimes. But..I didn’t think of you that way.”
I narrow my eyes at him, leaning a little closer, inspecting his face for lies. “That’s not how attraction works, Jackson. You can’t just decide to turn it on and off.”
He stares at me stoically for a long moment before his mouth twitches in the start of a
smile.
I
gasp, pointing at his face. “You totally were!” I whisper, thrilled. “You were into the Shrimp! You had a crush on me!”
He laughs, snatching my finger out of the air and wrapping his hand around mine even as he leans closer. “Fine, I thought…I thought you had a nice smile, okay?”
I grin, leaning into him, making him say more.
He groans, sighing and rolling his eyes. “And nice skin and…and pretty eyes. But! I thought you were my mate’s twin, okay? That was my best guess. So, I was just imagining what she looked like, which was probably a lot like…you?” His face twists up now, getting all muddled in the truth.
I laugh with him, leaning back against him, pleased. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t find me totally repulsive.”
“Not totally,” he murmurs, lightly tracing his fingers down my arm and then around my back, settling me cozily against him again. “What about you?” he asks, his voice a little wicked.
“Oh,” I sigh, leaning my head against him. “It was terrible.”
“What?!” He’s laughing now.
“Rafe had to drag me back to the room all the time,” I say, looking up at him, a little embarrassed. “Told me I wasn’t allowed to moon after you in the hallways –”
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“What!?” Jackson repeats himself, I think shocked, but laughs harder.
“It was very embarrassing, Jacks! My stupid wolf always telling me to do ridiculous things, like just leap on you in the hallway when we’d see you between classes, or steal your shirt and hide it under my pillow, god
He’s shaking with his laughter now and I can’t help it, I join in with him, delighted as I look up into his face to see him looking so…..
Well, so happy. My serious mate, who sometimes looks like he’s never had a happy day in his life, laughing like that. God, but it does wonders for my heart.
When his laughter fades his turns his head back down to me, his eyes shining. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t disappoint. That your wolf,” he presses a finger against my chest, where I suppose he imagines she
lives, “likes me, at least.”
She preens inside of me, happy to be addressed and acknowledged directly. “Oh, she’s a big fan,” I sigh, looking down at his finger and smiling. But then I turn my face back up to his, returning to the question at hand. “Jacks,” I say quietly, and he turns his face to mine, more serious now but nodding to invite the question he can hear in my voice. “Why…why were. you so shocked to find out I was a girl? Why don’t you know any of the cues?”
Jackson releases a long sigh and drops his eyes from mine.
My heart drops along with his gaze, and I worry that I’ve said too much, or the wrong thing
“No,” he murmurs, reaching out and taking my hand, wrapping it in his. “It’s fine – I want to tell you. It’s just…I have been taught, all my life, to keep it a secret. So, it takes a little bit of unlearning, you know? To muster up the courage and tell you everything.”
I bite my lip, worried for different reasons now, and press myself against him, hoping to communicate my support, my genuine interest, my faith. He raises his face to mine with a small smile, and I give him mine in return.
“Honestly, Ari, it’s probably better that I didn’t know you were a girl when we first met, really,” he murmurs, smirking a little, “or else I’d never have been able to talk to you. Not at
all.”
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I work hard to fight my grin, wanting to be serious, but his own smile brings mine forward. “I know,” I whisper, nodding. “I saw you with Daphne.”
“Oh my god,” he mutters, taking a deep breath before slowly releasing it. “I thought my heart was going to pound through my chest when she came in.”
“Why?” I ask, laughing. “Daphne is really nice
“Because she’s a girl – it’s like meeting–I don’t know, a gigantic whale, or a unicorn or something. Even if you know it’s nice you still don’t know what to do what it’s going to do
“We’re unicoms to you?” I squeak, pleased to death.
He laughs, shaking his head. “Almost nearly as mythical,” he murmurs. To me, at least.”
I narrow my eyes a little, suddenly struck by something. “That was one hell of a kiss, Jackson,” I say, tilting my head and wrapping a hand in the fabric of his shirt, possessive, “if it was your first one.”
His mouth twists a little and he looks away for a second. “Well, no, he murmurs and I gasp a little at the drama of it all. “I knew…I knew one girl. For a little bit.”
My eyes go wide and a thousand questions are instantly on my lips, but they all fall away when he turns back to me.
“Please, he murmurs, shaking his head, his eyes a little sad. “I…I will tell you about her okay? Just… not right now. Not when I’ve just found you, and…there’s so much else to explain first.
I nod, agreeing to it, though my hands tighten their grip on his shirt. I find that I do not like, at all, the idea of this singular other girl. It is somehow, bizarrely, worse than Luca’s fifty anonymous women.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
So, I let him move on from it, because I’m….honestly not sure I want to know. At least, as he says, not right now.
“The world I grew up in,” Jackson begins, his voice soft and hesitating, “well, we called it the Community. It’s way, way up North, in the mountains. It’s really pretty there, honestly, Ari.
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Like… much prettier than here”
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I smile a little, cozying up against him, settling in to listen and pleased that he grew up somewhere beautiful. But I don’t say anything, wanting him to talk.
“But, um…” he hesitates again, “we do things…really differently. Like, for instance, I grew up with boys. And only boys. The girls were…kept elsewhere.”
“Kept?” I murmur, confused.
“Yeah,” he replies, and I can feel him nod. “We grew up in barracks – which is why, I think, it was easy for me to fall into life here, I’m kind of used to it. Except you all talk a lot like constantly, Ari, everyone is always chatting most of the time about nothing –”
“Jackson,” I murmur, lifting my head to look into his face, frowning, “what do you mean grew up? Like, from how young?”
He pauses his harangue against chattiness and goes a little still before he shrugs. “Since I can remember. That was my home.”
I frown, not understanding, and then I remember suddenly something that he said last night…
God, was that just last night, when Daphne came over and Jackson mentioned that he…
“Jackson,” I murmur, shaking my head, “where were your parents? Were they there too?”
“No,” he replies, his eyes suddenly wary as he confesses what, I think, is part of the great secret of his life. “I don’t…I don’t have parents. Or, I mean, obviously biologically I do, but…I was raised apart from them. We all were. If I ever met them,” he shrugs, “I didn’t know who they were. And they probably wouldn’t have known I was theirs.”
My mouth falls open in shock and horror as I stare at my mate.
Because what…what the hell!?