Clueless Love

I can’t believe this happened. Was I that tired from yesterday? I slept till morning in Ismail’s house. I can’t imagine what he thinks of me now. First, he saw my bra, then he watched me get sick with diarrhea. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah) I am feeling a lot better and the pain in my stomach is almost gone, but I still go to the toilet often.

I walk to the bathroom to perform Wudu (Ablution) and to say my morning prayers. I also brush my teeth with a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. I walk out and perform my prayers before stepping out of the room to find Ismail, but on my way out, I find something outside my door. It is a small bag with a letter attached to it. I carry it back into the room to read it and find out what’s inside the bag.

The letter reads:

As salamu alaykum Umit, I hope you are feeling much better this morning. I hope the drugs I bought worked. If they didn’t, and you are not feeling better I will call a doctor for you. I have a set of clean clothes for you to change into. You can use the bathroom in your room to take a shower. I will be waiting for you downstairs when you are done.

Ismail

Ismail is such a thoughtful person, caring for me and checking if I am feeling better. He even gave me a clean set of clothes to change into, so lovely of him. These are the things he does that make it hard for me not to fall in love with him more and more every day.

I take a shower and change into the clothes he gave me. There is a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt. I had to pull the rope of the sweatpants really tight, so it won’t slide off my hips. The t-shirt is a bit long but not too bad, and they both smell like the button up shirt, lovely as ever. I really like his scent; I wonder which cologne he uses.

I walk out of the room and take the stairs down. I look around the living room, but I don’t see Ismail. I walk towards the kitchen and find him doing the unexpected. Ismail is cooking. In all the years I have known Ismail, I have never seen the man cook. I must say he does look hot while cooking with his sleeves rolled up, showing his toned arms as he works his way around the kitchen. I can’t believe I just did that! Did I just admire Ismail while he is cooking? I don’t know what I am turning into these days.

“As salamu alaykum,” I greet taking a seat on a stool in the kitchen.

“Wa alaykum salam, how are you feeling Umit? Much better I hope,” he says turning around from the stove with a lovely smile.

“Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah), I am feeling much better, thank you for the clothes.”

“You are welcome, and I am happy you are feeling better.”

“So, what are you cooking, and I must say this is the first time I have ever seen you cook.”

“I am making pancakes. Just wait a bit I am almost done.”

“Alright, I can’t wait to taste it,” I say eager to taste Ismail’s cooking.

A few minutes later, Ismail has finished making breakfast. He made pancakes with sausages which he serves at the dining table outside on the patio. The view from here of the beautiful garden is quite lovely.

“So, how does it taste?” Ismail asks sounding a bit nervous about me eating the meal he prepared.

“Alright, let’s see if you are a good cook or not,” I tease taking a bite of the pancakes, and I must admit they are lovely. I never knew Ismail would know how to make such sweet pancakes.

“It’s really good, I love them,” I say around a mouth full of pancakes. They are nicer than I expected.

“Really,” he says sounding very happy.

“Yes, they are. Can’t you see how much I love them?” I smile while enjoying the nice breakfast made by Ismail.

“Thank you, you are the first lady who has eaten my cooking, except from my mom,” Ismail says smiling.

“Really, you should cook for me more often then.”

“I can if you want. I don’t mind cooking for you any day, anytime you want. Just call me, and I will come right away,” Ismail grins.

“Alright then, Chef Ismail, I will take you up on it,” I reply smiling.

When Ismail and I are finished eating, we have a little argument about me washing the dishes.

The only reason I won that was because he got a call and had to leave. After I finish the dishes, I walk into the living room to look for my handbag and check my phone for any missed calls or texts. The living room has black couches with black throw pillows and a brown coffee table. To the right is a bookshelf built into the wall. To my left is a fish tank with a variety of colorful fish giving the living room color.

I only have a few missed calls from Waheeda and a few messages from WhatsApp, Instagram, and other social media accounts. I decide to call Waheeda to tell her where I am. I am sure she is worried sick, but while I am about to call her, I see a message from her I did not see before. I open it to read it before calling her. The message says: I know you are at Ismail’s house. I wish you a quick recovery and come back home when you feel much better. Since that is settled, why do I still feel like I am forgetting something? Oh my God, I can’t believe I forgot I have to go to work today. My supervisor is going to kill me! We have a meeting scheduled this morning, and I am not even close to being on my way. I can feel my stomach telling me I need to go to the toilet. I am going to be so late, besides needing to go the toilet I also need to go back home and change before driving to the office. By the time I am at the office I am sure the meeting will be over. I quickly go to the toilet, as I know I will not make it out to the gate and back home, with the way I am feeling.

Coming out of the toilet, I walk back to the living room to get my handbag and get going, but Ismail stops me from leaving.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Ismail says, blocking my path out of the door.

“I am going to work,” I say trying to make my way around him. Why is he even blocking my way?

“No, you are not going to work.”

“Why?” I ask feeling totally confused by his behavior.

“Because you are not feeling well.”

“I am fine. I can go to work,” I say trying again to make my way around him.

“No, you are not, I just saw you leave the toilet,” he says, and I feel like the earth should swallow me whole. I don’t think I have ever felt more embarrassed in my life than I do right now. Of all things to happen to me, is for Ismail to say he saw me leaving the toilet. If I thought being sick was embarrassing, then I need to think again. Why do embarrassing things keep happening to me in front of Ismail. Ya Allah please make it stop. I don’t think I can bear it any longer. I don’t even say a word, too embarrassed to say a thing.

“Umit, I know you have not fully recovered. So, you are not going to work. I have already called your supervisor and told her about your situation.”

“My situation,” I repeat, wondering if he told her what is wrong with me.

“Yes, that you are sick and can’t come to work.”

“Oh, so that means I am free for the day,” I am happy I don’t have to go to work today. I am going to watch all the Korean series I have missed the past few weeks. I would have gone home but I am not fully recovered, and I don’t want to test my stomach on the way home. I can’t imagine what will happen if I need to go to the toilet and I can’t find a restroom close by.

“Yes, you are free for the day and if you need me, I am in my study,” he says walking away when I stop him.

“Why are you not going to work?” I ask noticing he is not dressed for work.

“Because my dear Umit is not feeling well, and I have to make sure she is feeling better before I can leave her alone and go to work.” Ismail says, smiling when he says, ‘My Dear Umit.’

I can’t believe he called me his dear. Just hearing his voice say my name brings a big smile to my face, and even more when he says it with ‘My Dear’. I can feel my heart beating faster and louder to how much his words affect me. And to top it off he took the day off from work to make sure I am feeling better. That alone tells me he cares for me. I don’t know if it’s because I am his sister-in-law or for another reason. I am praying the other reason would be because he likes me. There is a way for me to find out how he feels about me and stop wondering, but I don’t have that courage to ask him. I fear he might reject me and not have the same feelings I have for him. My heart is not strong enough to handle that if it happens. So, to be on the safe side I will keep my feelings to myself until I feel it’s the right time to tell him.

“Oh, I see,” I say finding it hard to say much with all the emotions going through me right now.

“Yes, see you later, Umit,” Ismail says walking to his study.

Once Ismail disappears into his study I walk back to the couch and reply to a few messages on my social media accounts. After a while, I get bored from watching feeds on Instagram. I decide to watch the Korean series I have been wishing to watch all week. I pick up my laptop from the dining table which I am guessing Ismail got out of the car for me. I walk back to the living room and I connect my laptop with an HDMI cord. I play the Korean series I want to watch and walk back to the couch.

The name of the Korean series I am watching is ‘Touch Your heart.’ It is so interesting, funny and has a very nice love story. The series is still aired so only a few episodes are out. I finish the last episode released recently before starting a Chinese one. This one is the first and best Chinese series I have ever watched. The name of the series is ‘Legend of Fuyao.’ It is so amazing. The martial arts displayed in the series is a little extreme, but wonderful to watch. The love between the main characters Fuyao and Wuji is so intense, amazing, and beautiful. The love they have is so beautiful it makes me wish I had someone who loves me as much as Wuji loves Fuyao. There is only one person I wish would love me like that… Ismail. I wish one day he could look at me with so much love in his eyes, the way Wuji looks at Fuyao. Treat me like I am the most important thing to him in the world. Love me like no one has ever loved me before. I have been thinking about Ismail more than normal today. I think I need to stop before I end up daydreaming about him. I continue my series and I pray I don’t cry, seeing how great and intense the series is.

Hours later I am halfway through the series; I pause it to go and pray Dhuhr Salat (Afternoon Prayer) and make lunch for Ismail and me.

I am making Caesar salad for lunch. When I am done, I walk to Ismail’s study to call him to eat. I knock a few times, but no one answers, and I decide to enter but I announce my presence while walking in.

“Ismail, Ismail are you here? It’s Umit, lunch is ready,” I call out walking in, but no one is here. Maybe he is somewhere else in the house.

I decide to look for him around the house but stop in my tracks when I notice something playing on his computer. I walk back to pause it, thinking he probably forgot to do so before leaving. I am about to pause the video when I notice what is playing. Without realizing I sit down and grab onto the armrests, not believing what my eyes are seeing. I feel tears streaming from my eyes as I continue to watch the most brutal and horrifying thing I have ever witnessed in my life. I turn away from the screen, unable to bear to watch anymore. I quickly switch off the computer, not able to handle it anymore.

I sit numb for a good 10 minutes, trying to wrap my head around what I just witnessed. Trying to understand what in God’s name I just watched? I realize Ismail has come in noticing my tear-stained face and shocked expression. I don’t know how long he has been standing in front of me, because I have been so shocked and lost in my thoughts, trying to figure out what happened. I can tell from his body language he has been trying to get my attention, and I can see his lips moving, but I can’t tell what he is saying. After what feels like forever, I come out of my daze and finally ask the question running through my mind.

“Ismail, what in Allah’s name did I just watch?” I pant with heavy breaths.

“Umit, there is a perfectly good explanation to why you just witnessed that.”

“I am listening, because I can’t come up with any reason why I watched that on your computer.”