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Chapter 47

“You will make it soon. Just keep believing in yourself.” [Ifveen]

*******

“Really?”

Her black eyes gleamed in excitement and she nodded hurriedly.

“Yes Really. I don’t know why, but I feel like we are going to rock.”

My forehead creased, as I questioned her sanity in my mind. Why would she think I can rock, I the boring nerd, what could I possibly create that would be rocking. I wanted her to be aware of what kind of person I am. No matter from what kind of foundation our friendship started, what matters now was she should have a clear understanding of what kind of person I was. I cleared my throat and looked at her somewhere in between our interactions. We had ended up sitting on the last bench in the cla**room. While Rohan seemed to be sitting diagonally to our seat in the left corner. “Nina I don’t know why you felt I could be a friend for you. I am very different from you in personality and I can a**ure you that I am not a fun person. To begin with, I have a cage around my heart. I am broken to the point that I don’t know if I even deserve you.” My tone is low so that my cla**mates can’t hear it.

She smiled at me, a kind smile. As she took my hands in hers, caressing them slowly.

“Yes, we are poles apart Jacqueline. But haven’t you heard? Opposite poles pull each other.”

Her fingers paused the caressing motion and she looked up at me. Her eyes filled with warmth that I never saw in someone’s eyes.

“I have never seen someone so brave as you, Jacqueline. Someone who dares to be herself in the world of fake personalities we are living in. I hope you can give me a chance to break that cage around

your heart and make you believe in yourself. From today onwards, your grievances are mine to relieve. I hope you find me worthy enough to share your pain.”

I listened to her quietly, waiting for more sentences from her. I have never had someone who could ask me to shoulder my vulnerabilities with her. I didn’t know if she meant what she said, but at that moment I wanted nothing more than to share my sufferings with her. The pain in my heart is a special kind of irony, hammering my inability to accept her tempting offer. I drew my hand back from her and gave her a nervous smile.

“It’s okay you don’t have to rush it, babe. I can wait. I will earn your trust.”

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I stared at her straight figure. My feet carefully stepped on the concrete wooden plate of the table to get comfortable. I honestly felt amazing that she would like to hang in with me until I can trust her. It was an enjoyable feeling.

“Good Morning Cla**.”

I looked ahead at the center of the cla**room, where our Dance teacher stood in a blue formal saree of our school with a hand on her hips. Her hair swept up in the form of a bun, her lips colored in a dim red lipstick. Her eyes are eyelined with black eyeliner.

Everyone stood up to greet her, and I followed suit.

“Morning Students. Now Sit down.”

We sat down, and murmuring started.

“What is Nidhi Mam doing here even before the a**embly.”

“Who knows?”

“Students just keep quiet for a few minutes, I will tell you why exactly I am here before the a**embly.” She says and smiles but her lips seemed to be tightly pressed together.

“Okay, Madam.” Everyone hums.

“So, the names I am going to announce will stand up on their seats then come to me one by one and I will then inform you why I am here.”

She walks from east to west announcing each name and then throwing a glance at them to show that she acknowledged the person who stood up. Tina, Jaan, Nina, Rohan all we’re on the list. And here I was praying to God, to keep me away from such a list. After almost 12 cla**mates, my name was announced and I practically wanted to shriek. In all honesty, I was not the dancer type, never been one. So why would she choose me? Since I took extra time to get up, she stopped moving and turned around. Her eyes traveled through the whole cla**room and then landed on me.

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“You are Jacqueline right honey? Stand up for me, please?” It sounded to me as if she has not asked me to stand up, but to sign up for mockery.

“Okay, Miss,” I grumbled and stood up. My eyebrows knitted as I looked down at my shoes.

Everyone was called out one by one which included seven girls and seven boys. She paired each girl with a boy. Nina was paired with Jaan. How funny. While Tina was paired with the male nerd of our cla**. It was funny. But as the pairing thing continued, I realized what would happen to me too. A heavy feeling weighed down on my chest and it shifted to my stomach. I examined the boys around me that were left. There was Rohan, Anirudh Kaakran, Himanshu Pandit. All in the category of bad boys.

Anirudh and Himanshu never bullied me, but they did laugh at me hundreds of times. And I was sure they wouldn’t want to be my partner in any way.

“Jacqueline Your partner is uhm. Mhm. Rohan.”

The fake smile on my face stiffened, and my back broke out in a sweat.

‘Why does God never do what I ask him to do for me? Why God Why?’

I refused to look at him, despite his low shouts of my name. Nina looked at us grinning and I held my urge to glare at her.

“So Students, as you all know, our annual function is approaching. And this time, management has decided to s***e up things. So this time, you all are going to participate in our Annual Function’s dance compet**ion. Doesn’t that sounds great kids?”

Miss Nidhi’s voice startles me, breaking me from my fearful thoughts back into the reality of real uncertainty. She then looks at us with a mysterious smile.

Every school in India celebrates its founding day by organizing a grand annual function in the school auditorium. Our school was founded on the 15th of September, so in our school every year, our school administration organizes a grand annual function, adding all the elements there are available. Different Dance forms, Drama, Singing, cultural performances, the National anthem is played at the beginning and many more. An esteemed chief guest, who is most of the time a prestigious personality of the city is invited to perhaps show-off. Parents of children are invited to enjoy. Each year different types of annual functions happen. One year it is supposed to be cultural and entertaining mostly related to dance, singing, and other forms. And the next year, Sports Annual functions were different kinds of sports activities organized. Last year was the sports annual function, so this year it was supposed to be the dancing one.

“The selected students will not be left out no matter what kind of excuse you try.” Her black eyes gleam with a silent giggle. Once she composes herself, she explains. The remaining students will be selected under different compet**ions. Every student has to participate in these compet**ions because you will be getting marks for participating in extracurricular activities. And I repeat no one can say no.”

Her words topst**ched into my memory and my body visibly shook in nervousness. What kind of Annual function was this. Why was our school management forcing us to participate?

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“It’s a wonderful opportunity for everyone Students, so make sure you get the fullest fun from it. Also, this year we are inviting the most successful choreographer and their styling team from Mumbai to teach you.” She made it sound like it was a blessing for us.

Everyone hooted, but I stood rooted to the ground to let reality sink in. I don’t want it. I didn’t want to do it. But the question was can I say No? The answer was a No.

Sadly, I wanted to shout to give us a choice or say that they can’t do this to us. But no word left my mouth in comparison to the kids who seemed to be talking to her happily. Their happiness stung my eyes. How can they be so happy to care about nothing else?

Even Nina, Looked happy. I didn’t a**ume she was a dancer type, but I guess I didn’t know her enough to decide that about her. She blinked and asked us to follow her.

As we walked forward, Rohan’s hand found mine as he took it despite my struggle to get away from him.

“I am sorry about earlier.” I furrowed my brows. What was he talking about? I spared him a glance. And he continued. “I didn’t have the guts to break Nina’s heart.”

We journey down to the hallway but I don’t say a word, he didn’t lie to me he lied to her. He was supposed to say sorry to her, not me. But I didn’t want to tell him that. A decade seems to have pa**ed before we reach the auditorium.

“Leave my hand, Rohan.” Gritting my teeth, I speak lethally.

“No. You are trembling.”

His words were enough to silence me. Because I was trembling with anxiety.

We stand alone before the white gates. Everyone seems to have entered but we. Rohan didn’t leave my hand nor did he choose to say anything. Nina was lost somewhere in the crowd of other cla** students. I look up at the sky, strangely it is clear and blue devoid of humidity that had plagued us since morning. I close my eyes, taking in the real last time.