Mermaid’s Lust

Nina’s POV

Grandma Lucia and Evan have a sweet life every day. They sit on the Stone every afternoon and watch the sunset, talking about their dreams while watching the sun go down.

Evan said that his dream has been completed. Grandma Lucia asked curiously what Evan’s dream is. He just smiled and then told her after. Actually, Evan’s dream is to find a person worthy of his love for a lifetime and marry him. Grandma Lucia was shy when she heard this. She thought it was something grand and that she was not part of it.

She never thought that it was about her and never even came to her mind that it was her. She felt warm in her heart and she never thought she could feel the way she is feeling right now except when they first share their love to each other.

“With you, I learned that love ignites from within without warning or notice. It grabs a hold of you. It permeates your body and soul in a way that is so invasive yet so beautiful in a way you had never thought possible. In a way that changes you forever. With you, I learned that love is more than a feeling. That love is a language between two that no one else can understand. It’s the ability to speak to each other without words. It’s when two people just know. When two people just care. And there is no need to remind one another just how much they do.” She said in her mind, still looking at Evan.

“With you, I learned that a heart can touch you more than any hands ever could. That love, when real, is felt so deeply, so profoundly, from within that special part of you. The part of you that only a soulmate can reach.

You taught me that love is both pretty and the ugly, too. That love makes room for the flaws and for the brokenness. That perfection is not the expectation. That there is no need to change who you are at this moment. Blemishes and all, love accepts you.

With you, I learned that love does not equal distress or anxiety. That despite what they say, you will never need to fight for what is truly yours. Love is a bond that grows stronger by the minute, by the hour. That it is two people being patient and kind. Two people wanting and willing to grow together.

With you, I learned that love is the little things. It’s the kisses in the morning. It’s the comfortable silence. It’s the reaching for each other’s hands at the same time. It’s the cooking for them, just because you feel like it. Just because you want to make them happy.” I could hear all her thoughts that were supposed to be for him like my own thoughts. I knew she spoke in her mind because I am not seeing her lips moving from my point of view.

“With you, I learned that love is also a big thing. The willingness to sacrifice anything to make it work. The inability to see our lives without each other. The intense moments of pure passion. The togetherness. That all of this can exist in one person, in your person. With you, my love, I learned that I had absolutely no idea what the meaning of love was, until I met you.”

“Nina, Nina, it’s time to get up.” My mother called me by the bed. So with a heavy heart, I got up and did my personal morning routine.

I invited my father and mother to come to my room the same day after that dream. I had something to say to them. After a while, my father came.

In my room, My father and mother are worried that I am ill. They thought I was terminally ill. My mother began to blame herself for smoking when she was pregnant. Dad looked at my mother in surprise. And then he scolded my mother. Mom said she only smokes when she is drinking. It’s getting darker and darker, Dad was even angrier when he heard it. Two people who brought me to life quarreled again in front of me, and I looked at them helplessly. Later, I stopped my father and mother loudly.

“Do you have to quarrel when I have a crisis, so can you both please get out and come back so that I will not see you two quarrel?” I shouted angrily at them, and my father and mother turned their eyes to me and apologized to me.

“I’m not sick, I just…” I was interrupted by my mother before I finished speaking. “If you are not sick, why do we worry so much?!” She half yelled at me.

“Baby girl, do you have anything important to tell us?” My father asked me patiently. I lifted the quilt on my leg and confessed to my parents that I had been cursed by mermaids. As a result, before I finished speaking, they both fainted after seeing my fish tail.

I could not really blame them for their reaction. How are they supposed to react if they see their daughter with a real fish tail? At least they did not call me a monster the moment they saw my tail. They didn’t judge me or look at me with indifferent eyes like what he did to me.

When they woke up, they asked me what to do. They wanted to take me to the hospital. After I expressed my concerns, they gave up the idea.

I told them what I thought, I want to live off the coast of Greenland. They agreed. That night, my thoughts wondered about him again. The things I wanted to say to him were all in my head.

At 3 a. m., my mind wanders into the safest place it could find, memories with him.

It remembers the nights we talked endlessly under the stars and the expanse of the universe. Where he held me in his arms and we cuddled until we fell asleep. Where our philosophical and heart to heart conversations were set out into the wind and the trees. The nights where we talked about everything under the sun, including our fears, dreams, hopes, and aspirations. Nothing was off the table, and I felt like I could be anybody.

It remembers the warm embrace and slow dancing with him to ballads. I longed for his hugs and the arms that coddled and soothed all my insecurities. With his hands wrapped around my waist, he held me so close I could feel his breath against my skin. I remember crying into his shoulder because I felt so happy, so relieved, to finally find a place called home.

It remembers eating popcorn in silent libraries and streets ringing with our laughter. Where we were dancing the world away as if no one existed, but here and us in this moment. It feels like joy and pure bliss, the kind of happiness found only in fairytales and story books. Even on the darkest days, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel because there was always him. He was my happiness back then.

It remembers the big brown eyes I could easily lose myself in. When I am crying in the corner of a room after an emotional breakdown. Until his eyes brought me back to life as you gently coaxed me out of my intense mood. As he brought me hope and comfort by just seeing his eyes. The eyes that were so kind and gentle also spoke of a brokenness and a hell of a past to tell about. Eyes that spoke of trials and tribulations he has faced and overcame. Eyes that I greatly admired. His eyes were really like a blackhole that was sucking me in. Especially when he confessed to me and the same day that he ran away from me, screaming on top of his lungs, that I am a monster. He did not even see me as a person.

So for me, it is okay that I fell hard for him when there was no soft place to land. I trusted him with my whole heart, which is something that I don’t do quite often. It takes a lot for me to open up, and when I did, there was only the illusion of a safe space. Only a fragmented, distorted version of authenticity that I bought in to.Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

It’s okay that I wasn’t funny enough. His jokes were always about someone or something that did not deserve to be laughed at. People have feelings, but they don’t when someone decides to make someone or something that they deemed unworthy as the central theme of your jokes. Because I didn’t laugh or join in on those bigamist, racist, or homophobic eptihets disguides a light-hearted humor. It’s okay that I wasn’t funny enough to engage in that.

It’s okay that I wasn’t “smart” enough. But I worked hard to build the life that I wanted in the most authentic way that I could. That was enough for me. I did the best with the skills that I have. That is enough for me, even if it wasn’t enough for some people.

It’s okay that I wasn’t fun enough. I didn’t decide to compromise my standards in order to be considered fun and cool in his eyes or anyone else’s.

It hurts to feel left out and disregarded by someone that I thought the world of. It came so suddenly and so swiftly that I did not have time to catch my breath. One minute he was here and the next he was gone. I wasn’t enough, he simply explained, and with that I knew. It took me a while, but I knew it was okay.

The opposing truths became abundantly clear as days. The illusion that I was impenetrable to loss quickly shattered, and grief permeated my life in all ways at once. Grief became an unwanted companion that made its presence known in all moments, both big and small, loud and quiet, dark and light. Touching my bottom and integrating grief in my life enabled me to take chances that I normally wouldn’t, since my loss was so profound. I should just think that everything happens for a reason.

I had spent countless days, plenty of sleepless nights, and too much meal skipping feeling beyond heartbroken. Not a single walk to wherever without me choking on my own tears at some point. I had so many emotions but at some point, some of them lead to heart break. A very agonizing feeling like I can’t be who I was any more. But I need to move forward with my life. I need to do that. Not just for me, but also for the people who love me.

—

Dad took me to Greenland, he wants to build a small house by the side. I refused.

Then, I asked my father to show me the surrounding environment of Greenland. I saw a small hole in the coral reef beside the island. I swam in the little hole, Swimming and swimming, I saw an underwater cave. I looked at the crystal all over the ceiling, I paused, I feel like I’m dreaming, I found such a beautiful fairyland,

After taking a picture, I swam out of the cave, And discussed the idea of living in it with my parents. They agreed and began to prepare things to live in the cave. After I moved to the cave for a while, I began to adapt to living in the cave. I worked as a waiter in a restaurant in Heldi during the day. I had to go to Greenland before sunset, or everyone would know that I was a mermaid.

I am very happy every day trying to adapt to my new life. Mom and Dad began to live a new life, Dad and Aunt Sara are married, Mom also let go of her heart, Went to the wedding, Witnessed Dad’s new love with his own eyes, My mother also found a new job, went to a new city to live, and lived very well.

She also heard her say that she recently met a very good boy who wanted to chase her, and I also lived well. In my spare time on holidays, I also looked for beautiful scenery photos in the ocean and sent them to my parents, so that they could enjoy the underwater scenery without going out.

Occasionally, I will sit on a big stone on the shore, Blowing the sea breeze and watching the beautiful scenery of sunset. Looking back on the past, Sitting quietly on the shore, I feel that living alone is quite good, and my lovely baby Chai Chai has returned to me. It plays with water by the sea every day and digs its own nest on the beach. I think it is also very cute, and it also welcomes a new little friend, that is, a lovely kitten. Why is there a cat?

It turned out that during a holiday, a group of dad’s clients came to Greenland to play and left the cat behind. Later, he didn’t plan to take it back, so I came to raise him!

It is a very cute and obedient kitten. So, I named them obedient. Chai Chai is called Listening Brother, The kitten is called Huamei, Both of them are cute, And Huamei catches small fish on the shore every day. And the listening brother will transport the fish to the barbecue grill. And I’m responsible for frying fish for them to eat.

Watching them sleep on the shore, I felt sleepy, too. I went back to the cave, lay in my bed for a while, and made a video call with my mother. Mom works in the company and hasn’t come home yet. It hurts a little to look at her fatigued self. She reminded me to take good care of myself and I reminded her too. Then, I called my father, and my father and Aunt Sara chased the drama at home. My father would come to Greenland by boat every day after work to see how I was doing, and bring me some daily necessities.

They lived very sweetly. Aunt Sara found a good school. She worked as a teacher in the new school and was praised as the most diligent female teacher by the school!

It is quite satisfying to know that all of them have a happy life.