Chapter 116
Chapter 116
***Rowen***
My meeting with Robert lasted a little less time than I expected it to. We were working through a list of his pack members that were interested in my warrior training program. I had also gotten recommendations for Moonlight pack members that might be good for some of the higher education schools at Dark Moon. Robert was going to forward the applications over to the schools for me.
We also discussed the education school Molly wanted again. The Dean of the teaching school at Dark Moon was still not really sure how he felt about Molly’s program. He was also resistant to the idea of splitting up the school. He knew Molly’s idea had merit, and he couldn’t deny all of the proof Molly had that pups learned better with the curriculum she proposed, but he was still resistant. Robert suggested adding a few classes that were in line with Molly’s ideas for a semester to see how it went. I was hopeful that the Dean would see that it would be better to split the school.
“By the way, we’re having a family gathering for dad’s birthday next weekend. Do you think you, your dad, and Chastity can make it?” Robert asked as we wrapped up our meeting.
“I’ll talk to dad about it, but I’m not sure why we couldn’t.” I answered.
“Great. What are you, and Chastity doing this weekend?”
“Her birthday is tomorrow. I’m picking her up after class tonight, and taking her home. We’re throwing her a party tomorrow.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“I hope so. Chastity hasn’t had a birthday party since she was 3.”
“Such a sad situation.”
“It was, but not any more.”
“Very true. Chastity is a wonderful female.”
“She’s the best. I’m very lucky.”
“You are. What time do you pick her up?”
“I have meet her at the Admin office at 3:00 to get her ID card. She has class until 5:30 so I’ll wait in her
room for her.”
“What are you going to do until 3:00?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll go over to Danny’s shop.”
“That sounds like a great plan. I’ll go with you.”
Robert chuckled, and we headed out. After I put my laptop in my car we headed over to Danny’s. Chastity hadn’t had a chance to talk to Danny about opening a second shop in Moonlight so I planned to talk to him about that as well. We spent several hours checking things out. I did talk to Danny about opening a second shop in Moonlight. He liked the idea, and I gave him contact information for the hobby shop owner in my pack.
A little before 3:00 I headed over to Cloverland. I was excited to see Chastity. I hadn’t seen her since the mate ball. I was looking forward to this weekend, and I really hoped she had a fun weekend. I was standing outside of the Admin building when I saw something that didn’t sit well with me. Some male was walking too close to Chastity.
Before she saw me the male stopped her, by grabbing hold of her hand. My heart dropped when she turned to him, and smiled. Him brushing a small lock of hair out of her face didn’t help my anger at all either. The look on her face said she really liked this male. I got up, and walked toward them with a low growl in my throat.
Chastity turned to me as soon as she heard me, looking shocked, then gave me a huge smile. The male beside her was smaller than me, but almost looked like he was challenging me. I glared back at him.
“Hi Rowen.” Chastity said brightly, drawing my attention back to her.
“Hi Chastity.” I said between clenched teeth, causing Chastity to look concerned.
Chastity pulled her hand away from the male, and walked right up to me, still smiling, but looked a little nervous. I didn’t feel my tension drain away until she wrapped her arms around my waist, and snuggled into my chest. After glaring at the male once more, I looked down into her bright green eyes, and smiled.
“I only have a minute, but I wanted a hug.” Chastity chirped.
“Of course sweet girl.” I said.
“Oh. This is my friend Zeke. Zeke this is my Rowen.” Chastity stated as she turned in my arms.
“Hello.” I grunted.
“Uh, Yeah. Hi. Chas, we gotta go.” The male stated, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Oh. Right. Here. I’ll see you in a little bit. I’m sorry I have to leave you waiting.” Chastity said with a small pout as she handed me a small plastic card.
“It’s ok.” I responded, and took it from her.
“Come on Chas. We have to go. You’re going to be late.” The male, Zeke growled, causing me to glare at him again.
“I know.” Chastity snapped.
She stood on tip toe, and kissed my chin before leaving my arms. I watched as she walked over to the male who smiled smugly at me. When he turned his back to me to walk with Chastity, I growled quietly as he took hold of her hand. Thankfully she pulled away quickly.
“Why did you give that male your ID card? You need it to get into the school building.” I heard him ask as he tried to hold her hand again, but she shook him off.
“I didn’t. I got a temporary card so he can get into my room. Can you stop that please?” Chastity stated, as I caught myself following behind them, and stopped.
“So he’ll be there when we get back from class? I don’t like that.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
I didn’t hear the rest of their conversation as they had moved too far away from me. I was some where between angry, and heartbroken. From the sound of it they were very close. I never thought Chastity would cheat on me, and I hadn’t felt any pain to indicate she had. That didn’t mean she didn’t have feelings for him. The thought of losing her to anyone killed me.
I was walking toward the dorms when I realized I didn’t want to go into her room. If her room smelled of another male I just might go crazy. I wouldn’t be able to handle that, and I might end up tearing the
place apart. I couldn’t do that to her. That thought in mind I turned on my heal, got in my car, and headed to a coffee shop. Text © by N0ve/lDrama.Org.
I spent the entire time in a jumbled mess. I couldn’t get my thoughts straight at all. Duke couldn’t even help. He was just as worried, and upset as I was. The idea of Chastity cheating in any way was killing us both. I didn’t think Chastity was that type. At the same time she had been so sheltered, and starved for any kind of attention for so long, maybe she was indulging in it too much. No matter what, I knew in my heart I would forgive anything she did. It would tear me up inside, but for her, I would do anything just to keep her.
A little before 5:30 I headed over to Chastity’s room. When I reached her door, I still couldn’t bring myself to go inside. Just the thought of another male that wasn’t Colby, Norm, or Marcus in there caused my heart to twist. I leaned against to wall, and slid down to sit. With my arms on my bent knees, I put my head against the wall, shut my eyes, and waited.
I smelled her before, I saw her, or even heard her. The lilac, and honeysuckle scent that was my mate’s always sent my heart racing. I opened my eyes, and turned my head with a smile in my face. That smile. instantly dropped when I spotted that male walking in front of her. He smirked at me than turned to her. I slowly stood up, waiting to pounce. I tensed as he ran his hand down MY mate’s arm, and took hold of her hand. I couldn’t see their faces, but I could hear them as he was blocking her view of me.
“Chastity, I got you a birthday present.” The male said.
“Oh. Um. You didn’t have to do that.” Chastity responded, and I could see her pull her hand from his.
“Can I give it to you now since I can’t take you out to celebrate this weekend?”
“Alright.”
I silently watched as he handed her something. I heard what sounded like a jewelry box being opened. I heard nothing for a moment or two.
“It’s a locket with our initials engraved on it. See?” He stated.
“Oh. Why did you get me this?” Chastity questioned.
“I thought you would like it.”
“Oh. I…ummm.”
I started moving toward them as I saw him lean forward like he was going to kiss her. No way was I going to let him kiss my mate right in front of me. This situation was bad enough. I didn’t need to watch it get worse. I just caught sight of Chastity’s face which look confused, and concerned. I stopped when I watched her lean back, and put her hand up to stop him.
“What are you doing, Zeke?” Chastity asked.
“You know how much I like you Chas. I want you to be my girlfriend.” The male stated, and I had to try not to growl.
“I can’t be your girlfriend Zeke…” Chastity started, but he quickly cut her off.
“Why not?” He asked.
“I told you Zeke. I have a mate.”
“So reject him, and be with me. I know you like me more than him.”
I did growl then. There was a lot I would put up with, but this, no. No way. Zeke turned to me with his eyes wide, like he didn’t know I was there. I glared at him. How dare he
“Rowen!” Chastity said excitedly, and moved around the male I was about to tear apart.
I didn’t say anything, just pulled her into my arms. I couldn’t help crinkling my nose because she smelled
like him. After glancing down at her smiling face, I looked back at him to find him glaring at me. I only raised an eyebrow at him.
“Calm down Rowen. Please.” Chastity mind linked me quietly.
“How can I calm down? Didn’t you hear what he said? What is going on with you two?” I growled back through mind link.
“Nothing. He is just my friend.”
“It certainly doesn’t seem like it.”
“It’s the truth. Let me handle this, please.”
“But…..”
“Please Rowen. I let you handle most of the females who throw themselves at you.”
“Fine.”
and
Chastity, pulled out of my arms, and turned to the male. It took him a minute to stop glaring at me, look at Chastity. His face changed instantly to one of hope, and adoration. I knew that look well because it was the same look I had for Chastity, constantly.
“Zeke, did you really ask me to reject my mate for you?” Chastity asked.
“Yes. You’re my girlfriend, you belong with me. You don’t need him.” The male responded, making me growl again.
“I’m you’re what?” Chastity squeaked.
“My girlfriend.”
“No I’m not. You’re my friend. Nothing more.”
“Come on. I know you like me. Just reject him, and give us a chance. I know I can make you happy.”
“So you want me to go through horrible pain, and heartbreak so you can try to make me happy. That’s what you’re asking of me, right?”
“As long as you like me as much as you do, you won’t be hurt, or heartbroken.”
“It’s doesn’t work like that.” I grumbled, and Chastity glared at me.
“Rejecting a mate is painful, no matter what. Besides, I don’t like you like that. Zeke, you’re my friend. Nothing more. I never saw you as anything more than that. I never will. I’m certainly not your girlfriend, and I don’t want to be. I love my mate, very much, and he loves me. I’m not going to reject him. I can’t do that to myself, or to him. I’m sorry Zeke, but I won’t.”
“How can you say he loves you when you’re here alone? If he loved you, and wanted to be with you he would be here. If you loved him you would be spending your time not in class with him instead of with me. You two don’t even live together.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I was hoping I hadn’t. I’m here without Rowen because he can’t be here. He is the future Alpha of our pack. He can’t leave right now because he’s training.”
“Yeah. But…..
“Zeke, you’re a nice person, and a good friend. I’m sure you’ll make some female very happy, but that female isn’t me. You’ll understand when you find your mate.”
“You are my mate!”
I tried not a to snort. I really did, but this male was drawing at straws here. There was no way he was
Chastity’s mate. I was sure of that. I did roll my eyes though. He must have caught that because he glared
at me.
“How….how is that possible?” Chastity asked with a shaky voice, and I was curious how he would explain
that.
“It can only be possible because that male is lying to you. He’s not your mate! He’s only saying that to take advantage of you! He’s lying about all of it. He wanted to have sex with you so he lied to you!” The male growled, pointing at me.
“Like hell…” I started, but Chastity placed her hand on my chest to stop me.
“Am I lying to myself as well? Am I pretending to feel the mate bond between us? Am I imagining the sparks I feel every time I touch him? Is my wolf lying to me every time she sees or smells him, and she calls him mate?” Chastity questioned.
“Maybe you’re just imagining things.” The male stated.
“Zeke, do you have a mate or did you have a mate? Do you know what the bond feels like, at all?” Chastity asked.
“I told you! You are my mate!” The male said firmly, and I growled quietly.
“No. No I’m not. That’s not possible. I know who my mate is, and it’s not you.” Chastity whispered.
“Yes it is! I can feel it! I know I can!” The male insisted.
“What do you feel? Tell me. Does the world disappear when your eyes connect with mine? Does my scent soothe, and calm you when you’re stressed, or emotionally a mess? Does your heart race when you’re with me? Do you feel like our souls connect when our gazes meet? Do you feel sparks any time you even brush against me?”
“I…..I feel happy when I’m around you.”
“Do you feel any of those other things?”
“I don’t know, ok! I don’t know. I just know that I like you, a lot, and I think…..I know you’re meant to be mine.”
“Zeke, if I was your mate, you would have known the moment our eyes first met. Your wolf would have gone crazy at my scent. You would feel sparks at even the slightest touch. I would have known too. That’s how I KNOW that you are NOT my mate. I am also NOT your girlfriend. I am your friend, nothing more. I can never be anything more. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is. I can, and will always be your friend though.”
“But I’m in love with you. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Zeke, you barely know me. You know what I’ve told you over the last month that we’ve been friends which isn’t a lot. I love Rowen. I am very much in love with Rowen. He is my mate. He always has been, and he always will be. I can’t, and I won’t reject him for you, or anyone else. I refuse to do that to him, and I refuse to do that to myself! You don’t know the pain that would cause, and no amount of someone being in love with me will make that pain go away, ever. I’m sorry to hurt you like that, but it’s how it is.” “But…..”
“I’m sorry Zeke. I’m sure you have a mate out there, some where. She will be perfect for you in every way. That person isn’t me though.”
“But
“No buts Zeke You’ll find her. It’s just not your time yet.”
1 don’t want to find her I already have you.”
I growled low in my throat. He didn’t have Chastity, and he never would. She was mine, and she had made it clear that I am hers. This conversation needed to end, and he needed to accept the way things were “Don’t you get it? You DON’T have Chastity! She is MY mate! She’s already told you that is not going to change!” | growled.
“Nobody asked you!” Zeke snapped at me.
“No one needed to! You’re not getting it, and you keep pushing when you’ve already been told no!” I stated as I balled my fists, glaring at this fool.
“Like you deserve her!” He sneered.
“Maybe I don’t, but that’s not for you to decide! That is between Chastity and myself!”
Yeah. Until you throw her away! You’re just using her! Once you’re bored of her, you’ll push her to the side for the next exciting hottie that comes along. Causing her pain, and suffering All you Alpha’s are the same! Just worthless male whores who use females! She’s better off with me! Someone who will truly worship, and cherish her the way she deserves!”
I was about to throw a punch when I heard Chastity gasp. I turned to look at her, and saw her eyes flash with anger. I didn’t know what was about to happen, but I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be pretty. I lowered my fist, and watched Chastity carefully as she walked up to Zeke, and got in his personal space.
“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO OR ABOUT MY MATE LIKE THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM! HE WOULD NEVER TREAT ME OR ANYONE LIKE THAT ROWEN IS AN AMAZING MALE WHO ALWAYS TREATS ME WITH LOVE, AND RESPECTII WON’T TOLERATE ANYONE SPEAKING LIKE THAT ABOUT HIM!” Chastity yelled, poking him in the chest, causing his eyes to widen.
“You know I’m right! You can’t tell me there hasn’t been a single female that hasn’t tried!” Zeke argued.
“THEM TRYING, AND HIM DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS!I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT ROWEN HAS NEVER, AND WILL NEVER DO THAT TO ME! I KNOW HE WILL ALWAYS STAY TRUE TO ME! NOW APOLOGIZE!”
“No!”
“IF YOU WANT TO MAINTAIN EVEN AN OUNCE OF OUR FRIENDSHIP YOU WILL APPLOGIZE TO MY
MATE FOR THE THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT HIM!”
“NO! I WON’T! I WANT YOU, AND HE’S IN MY WAY!”
I blinked, and got angry all over again. The nerve of this male. Who did he think he was?
“TOO DAMN BAD! I DON’T WANT YOU! I WANT MY MATE! THE ONE THE GODDESS GAVE ME! HE IS NOT
IN YOUR WAY BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT YOU! YOU ARE NOT MY MATE! YOU ARE ONLY MY FRIEND! NOW APOLOGIZE IF YOU WANT TO SALVAGE THIS FRIENDSHIP!” Chastity yelled, still poking him in the chest
“What’s so great about him?” Zeke whimpered.
“Everything! There is nothing NOT great about him! He supports me, is patient with me, encourages me, is my strength when I need it, he is loving to me, he is kind to me. He lifts me up when I’m falling apart. He’s there in every way he can be even if I don’t need him to be. He’s respectful of my thoughts, and feelings. He takes care of every need I have, no matter what it is. Hell he’s even accepting that we live 4 hours
away from each other simply so I can complete the education I want so I can become what I want to be. He’s not trying to force me to drop out, and come home. He spends more time here with me than I do at home with him. He takes time out of his incredibly busy day, every day to video chat with me for as long as I want. He loves me more than anything in this world, and I love him just as much.” Chastity stated firmly while taking ahold of my hand, and I bit back a smile.
Feeling smug right now probably wouldn’t help the situation. The look on Zeke’s face almost made me feel bad for him. Almost. It was hard to feel bad for someone who tried to steal your mate.
“But he won’t always be like that. He’ll cheat on you, and leave you.” Zeke stated.
“You don’t know that!” Chastity growled.
“BUT NEITHER DO YOU!” Zeke yelled.
“Yes I do. That’s the thing with mates. I can feel it. I can feel that Rowen is true to me, and will always be true to me. I can feel that I can trust him, always. I can feel his love for me.” Chastity explained as she looked up at me, and smiled.
“But….”
“You’ll understand when you meet your mate, Zeke. Believe me you will. I didn’t understand it myself until I met Rowen.”
“…..I just wish you would give me a chance.”
“I can’t, and I won’t. I can be your friend, but nothing more. Maybe I can help you find your mate. I can’t be anything more than that, ever.”
“Please.”
“She said no. You’re going to lose your friendship with my mate if you keep this up.” I growled, even though I didn’t like the idea of her continuing her friendship with this male.
“Stay out of this.” Zeke growled at me.
“I am part of this. Chastity is my mate. That you’re trying to take from me.” I stated.
“Zeke, when you meet your mate, you’ll understand how you’re making Rowen, and I feel.” Chastity said quietly.
“I don’t mean to make you feel bad Chastity. I just want a chance.” Zeke whined.
“I don’t have a chance to give you. I’m sorry.”
“So there really is nothing I can say to change your mind?”
“No, there isn’t. I will only ever be your friend.”
“Oh.”
“Zeke, I need you to apologize to Rowen though. What you said about him was wrong. It was also hurtful to me. You owe both of us an apology.”
“I…..I’m sorry Chastity. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Thank you. I need you to apologize to Rowen too please.”
“Sorry, Rowen.”
“Zeke, I still want to be your friend, but I don’t know if I can trust you now. I need some time to think about it. I think you need time to realize that you, and I will not happen. I’m going home this weekend. I think it’s best if I don’t hear from you while I’m gone. We’ll see what happens when I get back.”
“But…”
“It has to be this way Zeke. Yes you apologized, but you really hurt me today. You crossed lines that are not ok to cross. I need space, and time.”
“I…yeah. Alright.”
“Bye Zeke.”
“Bye Chastity.”
Chastity handed him his necklace back, that I didn’t even realize she was holding. Zeke finally walked away, with slumped shoulders, and his head down. I got how he was feeling, but what he just did was not ok. Eventually Chastity, and I walked into her room. She dropped her book bag, sat on her bed, and put her face in her hands.
“Are you ok, sweet girl?” I asked quietly, giving her some space.
“Not really. No.” Chastity responded, and I got really worried.
Like hell was I going to stand by while I lost her to that male, or any one. Just the thought tore my heart out. Even Duke was whimpering. He was scared she was about to do what Zeke asked her to do.
“Chastity, please. Please don’t leave me over him. I couldn’t bare it.” I whispered.
“Huh? What? Leave you? Rowen I’m not going to leave you.” Chastity looked at me confused. “But you said…..”
“I’m not ok because I had a feeling he liked me. He started giving me hints yesterday. I was trying to ignore it, or play it off as nothing. I didn’t expect him to do that. I’m not ok because I may have just lost a friend. If he hadn’t said the things he did about us, our relationship, and you, I may not have. Now, I’m not sure I can trust him. Even if he wants to remain friends, I’m not sure I can do it. How do we come back from that? I also didn’t want to hurt him, but I had to be honest with him. I feel bad for hurting him, but what else could I do?”
“I’m sorry sweet girl. I hate that you’re going through this.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but I hate that you’re hurting, and upset.”
“I know you are. I just don’t understand. I talk about you all of the time to him. I have made it clear I have a mate. Why did he behave like that?”
I moved to her, and sat by her on the bed. Taking her hand I sighed. I hated to have to tell her this, but there would probably always be males who were interested in her. She was beautiful, intelligent, kind, caring, and everything any male would want in a female.
“Chastity, I know you don’t always see yourself as others do, but you are beautiful inside, and out. Any one who talks to you is impressed by how intelligent you are. You treat everyone with kindness, and respect. You never make others feel bad about themselves. You encourage them, listen to them, and genuinely care about others. These are all very attractive features. This draws people to you in a lot of different ways. There are males who look at you, talk to you, get to know you, and find someone that they want to be with. Someone they would want as their partner, and mate.
“Some will feel that us being mated is a challenge they want to meet, and beat, with you being the prize. They don’t want to believe that they can’t win you over. It’s not fair or right, but it’s how it is.” I explained gently.
“Is this how you feel when you turn those females who throw themselves at you away?” Chastity asked.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s different for me. Those females only see how I look, and that I’m an Alpha. They don’t see me. They want me for what they see, and what I am, not who I am. With you, most males see who you are, and they want that for themselves. There are males that just want to sleep with you because that is the kind of male they are. For the most part though, they see you as a life long partner.”
“That’s kind of stupid.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re all of those things I told Zeke you are.”
“I maybe, but those females don’t see or really care about that.”
“Why is it so different for me?”
“Because you are who you are. This is one of the few times our ranks make us different. My rank draws those females that simply want to say they had an Alpha, or they want the position of Luna because they want the ego boost.”
“For me, the males see me instead of what I am?”
“Pretty much.”
“Oh. That’s still stupid.”
“It is, but that’s life.”
“So I’ll always have to deal with females throwing themselves at you because you’re an Alpha?”
“And I’ll always have to deal with males throwing themselves at you because you’re an amazing person in every way.”
“Not in every way.”
“In what way are you not amazing?”
“Apparently I have a nasty temper when people talk poorly about you.”
“That’s allowed.”
“Why?”
“Because it means you care, and are protective of someone you love.”
“I guess.”
“Chastity, you are not in the wrong for getting an angry when someone is saying nasty things about the people who are important to you. One of the things that make you different, is that even though you got, angry, protective, and yelled, you were still willing to be his friend.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be though, should I?”
“If I had it my way, no you would not be moving forward. As much as I want to make that choice for you, I can’t, and I won’t.”
“But you would be happy if I ended the friendship?”
“Do you want me to be honest?”
“Yes I do.”
“I would be happy if you ended the friendship. I don’t trust him not to try to get you to leave me again. I also don’t like the idea of him making you uncomfortable around him in the future.”
“I wouldn’t leave you though. Not for him. Not for any one.”
“I hope not.”
“Rowen, you’re my mate, and I love you. On top of that, do you remember months ago when I said I don’t want a chosen mate?”
“I do.”
“Leaving you would mean I would have to settle for a chosen mate. I never wanted that. I want that even less because I love you, and want only you.”
“I love you, and only want you too.”
Chastity smiled up at me, and I leaned forward to kiss her. I ended the kiss quickly, and wrinkled my nose. She stunk of that male. Neither Duke nor I liked that.
“Sweet girl, I love you, and I know we should get going, but……um……can you take a shower first please?” I asked hesitantly.
“Uh. Why?” Chastity asked, confused.
“You stink of him.”
“Huh?”
“His scent is on you, and I don’t like it. Neither does Duke.”
“Oh. UH. OK. Sorry. Can you get some food together for Lilac, and grab the books on my desk for me please, while I shower?”
“We have food for Lilac at home. The only thing you need to bring for her is her leash and harness.”
“Oh ok. That’s easy.”
“That was the goal. Do you have everything else you need packed?”
“Uh. I’m not bringing much. You shirts that need to be washed are already in my bag, as well as my pajamas.”
“Ok. As soon as you’re showered we’ll get on the road.”
Chastity nodded, and headed into the bathroom to shower. Taking a deep breath I looked around. I was pleased to find there were no scents, or signs of that male in her room. I did notice that her favorite picture of us was sitting on her pillow like she had been holding it in her hand before she left her room. That made me smile. I picked up the text books she asked me to pack up for her. I chuckled to see another picture of us sitting on top of the books.
When she finally came out of the bathroom, she smelled of just my Chastity again. She also looked more relaxed than she had before her shower. After a quick dinner in the cafeteria with Norm, and Lexi we left to head home. Lexi, Colby, Marcus, and Norm would be arriving at Moonlight the next day as Colby, and Marcus were going to be at Denu late.
Half way thru the drive home, Chastity fell asleep. That hadn’t surprised me as she had been studying hard for her midterms. Since we were getting back late, and Chastity was still asleep when we reached home, I took her to our apartment for the night. I needed to hold her in our bed after what had happened earlier. She only stirred long enough to snuggle close to me when I crawled into bed with her.