The Alpha’s Slave

BRIANNA’S POV

Sebastian chased after me as I ran into the balcony. I quickly shut the tinted glass doors behind me so he couldn’t get to me.

He banged against the door so hard I feared it might not be too strong to withstand the pressure or hold him off for long.

“Brianna!” He shouted my name in alarm, jerking hard on the handle of the door. “Brianna…. please open the door. Don’t do this to me…Let me in. I know it’s not easy. But I’m here. I’m always here for you. I don’t know what’s happening to you but please let me help you with it…Let me help you with whatever you’re going through. Please…”

I brought my hand over my mouth to cage the sobs that shook me like an earthquake. To cage the intense outburst of emotions flooding inside me and threatening to rip me to shreds as I stepped away from the door as if scared of it.

It wasn’t until my back came in contact with the rail behind me that I remembered I was on the third-floor balcony of the castle. I almost lost my balance but grabbed the rail just in time.

I looked down at the insane height beneath me and my breath hitched as a cold eerie wind blew past me, prickling my bare being.

Reflexively, I stepped away from the rail and settled at a corner beside the door. Sebastian was still banging against the door and saying everything he could to make me feel better and open the door. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t open the door.

I crumpled to the floor and hugged my knees close to my chest, feeling cold, battered and broken beyond repair. Tears clouded my vision and stung my eyes, making it hard for me to see clearly.

My chest hurt. I couldn’t breathe properly. I felt so weak. So powerless. So not good enough. I feared this would happen. That my past would pop up like a virus and infect what Sebastian and I were going to share.

I loved him and wanted to prove that to him. I didn’t want him to think I was turning him down. Pushing him away. Think that he was incapable. I didn’t want to lose him. I wanted to be able to make love to him. Real careless love without holding back, without the fear of my past hunting me like a nightmare.

But it wasn’t easy. Hermes caused me a great deal of pain and trauma, and it will be hard for me to get through it and move on. That was the reason I needed more time. I wanted to heal, but with the way things were going now, I didn’t think I would be healing anytime soon. Those memories were like a scar, an indelible mark forever etched in me.

I turned my attention towards the door. Sebastian was still banging and saying things that triggered more tears to rush down my cheeks.

“Brianna please open the door. I’m begging you. You’re going to catch a cold. What I can do to make it stop hurting? What can I say to make your heart beat better? Tell me…I will do anything…. just please open the door…”

This man. It was obvious he wouldn’t give up. He will never get tired of banging and if he continues, no doubt it will draw the attention of the maids.

The last thing I wanted was for them to gather and see us like this without any clothes on. It will be embarrassing.

Amelia mentioned Catherine had once tried to jump off the building from the balcony in an attempt to kill herself. If the maids happen to come, they’ll think I wanted to do the same. Think that I was as crazy as Catherine or even crazier. I didn’t want them to label me as that. I wasn’t crazy. I was only trying to get rid of the memories haunting and tearing me apart.

Mustering the strength to get up, I managed to get myself together and opened the door for Sebastian.

He stood there, still naked, breathing hard like he just had a run and looking at me with exhaustive eyes. Eyes that said he might soon give up on me because I was putting him through a lot.

I kept a hand on my elbow and looked away, feeling guilty and embarrassed with myself. Embarrassed with what I have done. I was so ashamed I couldn’t even bring myself to say anything. Gosh…I wish it didn’t have to be like this. I wish he’d understand and not look at me like that.

“What’s going Brianna…?” He pleaded for an explanation. “What more can I do? Haven’t I done enough? Haven’t I proven enough to you? But it seems like the more I try, the more you push me away. You have been pushing me away right from the start. I have given you all of me… given you everything but it seems I can never measure up,” he scoffed, clutching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I feel like I have walked a thousand miles but didn’t even come close. You keep making me jump through pools, and I’m so fucking tired of it…. if I’m not good enough for you. If I’m the problem then you might as well tell it to me in my face so I can stop wasting my time and be on my way…”Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

I couldn’t keep listening to his words because they were hurting me to the marrow. Hurting me more than those memories.

“You’re not the problem, Sebastian,” I blurted out, stopping him from continuing.

“Then what is?!”

“It’s him!”

“Who?”

“Hermes,” I revealed and broke down in another round of sobs. “It’s not you…it’s Hermes…he is the problem.”