32
Part 32
I felt like I was living in a dream. But sadly, it was no dream. This was the cold, harsh reality that I was seeing with my own eyes. No matter how much I tried to deny that fact, I couldn’t.
There were pictures of me everywhere; no spot on the four walls was devoid of my face. And looking at them made me realize how these photographs were the ones of me modelling. I could see myself in various dresses and poses, lying on the couch or standing up. Every single photograph in here was taken by Madigan.
“Bumblebee, come, you are not supposed to be in here.” I screamed as Trent touched my arm and pulled away from him.
“D-Don’t touch me! Stay away from me!”
My heart was thumping wildly in the confines of its cage, I was afraid it would either break through my chest or stop working completely. What I was seeing was something I could never imagine, neither in my dreams nor in my nightmares. How could Trent do this to me? What was he thinking?
“Explain this to me, right now!” I commanded.
“Calm down, sleeping beauty. Why don’t you come outside and we’ll discuss it,” he suggested, trying to touch me again, but I pulled back just in time. If Trent pulled me in his arms, I was afraid I would crumble. I would not be able to stay strong against him if he touched me.
“No! You are going to tell me everything right here and right now!” I yelled, not caring if the birds outside heard us. This was not the time to be rational and calm. I wanted answers and I would not stop until I got them.
Trent sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Normally, I would hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but not right now. He was going to tell me the reason behind this. He had to.
“I-I don’t know how to say this,” he said.
“You have to say it. Otherwise I’m going to get a restraining order against you,” I warned.
“You promised you will stay with me in this house, shady. You can’t back out now,” he argued.
“This.” I gestured to the entire room which was filled with my pictures from top to bottom. “Changes everything. Why should I keep my promise when you can’t even be honest with me?”
“Being honest is not as easy as you think,” Trent stated.
“It is!” I argued.
“No.” He shook his head. “Not when you’re heart is on the line.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t have time for your riddles. Tell me why you did this? Were you stalking me all this time? Are you like one of those crazy psychopaths that keep pictures of women in their room? Oh wait, don’t answer that, I already know the answer is yes.”
“No Amanda, I-I wasn’t stalking you. I was just keeping an eye on you,” Trent uttered, looking unsure.
I gazed at Trent like he had grown three heads. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! That means stalking! You were spying on me, what for?!”
“You don’t understand. I needed to know that you were alright. I was away for two years, and I couldn’t leave you unsupervised,” Trent replied.
“Unsupervised? Trent, I’m a grown woman, not a child that needs supervision!” God, how could I make him understand that what he was doing was wrong on so many levels.
“I needed my peace of mind. I had to make sure you were okay. That is why I left Jordan incharge of things,” he responded.
“That doesn’t make it okay! None of this.” I gestured to the room filled with my photgraphs once again. “Is okay.”Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
“I have my reasons for doing things, you know that,” Trent said.
“Trent.” I could feel tears burning like acid in my eyes as they rose to the surface. “Why can’t you understand that what you are doing is not…normal, it’s not okay? You have been stalking me for the past two years and you don’t think you did anything wrong. You need help, Trent.”
“It is okay. If you knew my reasons, you would know that what I’m doing is not wrong,” Trent stated, taking a step towards me, resulting in me taking two steps back.
“No matter what angle you look at it from, this is wrong. Crazy, obsessive stalkers do this, Trent. They have rooms filled with pictures of women, not sane men.” I told him. It was like talking to a spoilt child, who was hell bent on making me see things from his perspective.
“If you could get a glimpse of my heart, you will know why I’m doing this,” he said cryptically, running his fingers over one of my photographs which was stuck to the wall. The way he touched the photograph made me feel like he was touching me, causing goosebumps to spread over my skin.
“Why are you doing this, Trent? Tell me. That is what I’ve been asking you for the past few days. You don’t give me a rational explanation, but you expect me to be okay with whatever it is you’re doing. And I can’t do that. I cannot take your actions in stride, especially when they are not normal and you don’t tell me anything.” Please Trent, let me inside your heart. Let me see the different layers that make you so beautiful and unique.
“I-I can’t tell you,” he responded, turning away from me.
I sighed. “Fine. If you will not tell me, then I’m leaving. You expect me to give you everything when you don’t extend the same courtesy to me, and I am not okay with that. You have two minutes to give me an honest and a resaonable explanation, otherwise I’m leaving.” I threw the ultimatum at him. I really didn’t want to do this, but Trent gave me no choice. In the past, he made my decisions for me, robbing me of control and power. And now, I would do the same thing to him. He reveled in control, let’s see how he liked it when he was robbed of the same power.
“You promised,” Trent said, taking a step forward, only this time when I tried to step back, my back ended up touching the wall.
“I am not going to give you what you want if you don’t give me what I want,” I stated, crossing my arms over my chest.
“We’ll talk outside. Come.” He held out his hand for me to take.
I shook my head. “No. We will talk here. You have one minute remaining. If you don’t start speaking then I’m walking out of this house and you can forget I ever existed.”
“Don’t do that. You can’t leave me. I won’t let you leave me,” he replied, coming closer to me.
“I will if you don’t tell me why you have my photographs all over this room.” I told him.
Trent fell silent for a moment, contemplating his next move. I could see the wheels turning in his head, but I could also see anxiety and fear in his dark eyes. Trent looked worried-vulnerable. He looked like he was desperate for a solution, a solution that was anything but the truth.
Seeing Trent like this had my hands itching to hug him, to wipe this strange look off his face. He was always so confident, he oozed power and dominance; but right now, there was no sign of either of those things.
“I-I’m possesive about you,” Trent finally said.
“Why?” A chuckle escaped me.
“Why wouldn’t I be? A woman like you needs to be kept under supervision. There are so many vultures in this world, they wouldn’t hesitate to take you away from me,” he replied.
“Trust me, you won’t be losing much. There is nothing special about me, you know that. You’ve told me that so many times in the past. You like intelligent women, and I’m not intelligent. So you have no reason to be possessive about me,” I responded. It hurt knowing that I would never be enough for a man like Trent. I really wanted to protect my heart from him, but the stupid thing had a mind of its own.
“I lied. When I said that you are stupid and not beautiful enough, I was lying. You are a smart woman, and you are the most beautiful woman I’d ever had the pleasure of seeing,” Trent said.
Trent thought I was beautiful? Yeah right! He was lying.
“You’re lying. You just want to say these things to me so you won’t have to explain about these photographs. And since you refuse to be honest with me, I have no reason to stay here.” I tried to walk away but Trent stepped forward, blocking my escape.
“I am telling the truth. You may not believe me, but I am telling you the truth,” Trent replied firmly.
“Why did you lie before, then?” I enquired, raising my eyebrows.
“Because…I…I didn’t want my heart to get attached to you. But I lost it anyway,” he responded.
I rolled my eyes. “So you want me to believe that you hurt my feelings, made me feel terrible about myself all because you didn’t want to get attached to me? Really Trent?” This man was cryptic and infuriating at the same time. Why couldn’t he behave like normal men and ask me out instead of having a room full of my pictures?
“Yes. Because it is the truth. I tried really hard not to be attracted to you. I hurt your feelings. I tried my best to focus on your flaws, but you are so perfect, you barely have any flaws, or maybe I just couldn’t focus on them. I thought if I pushed you away, I would be able to protect myself, but no. You were everywhere; in my world, in my heart. I couldn’t get rid of you, and after a while I didn’t even want to,” Trent confessed.
Why was he telling this to me now? Why didn’t he tell me this before, when I really needed to hear it? What was going on in that big, cryptic head of his? What was the reason behind his confession?
“What are you trying to say?” My mind was giving me the answer to my question, but I just couldn’t make myself believe it. Because what my mind was telling me could never be true; Trent hated me. There was no way he could ever love me the way I wanted him to. My heart was his, but his wasn’t mine. And that was why I could not believe what my mind wanted me to.
“I’m trying to say that I can’t let you go anymore. I tried to let you go before, but I can’t do it anymore. I tried to stay away, but no more. I tried to control myself, but I can’t do it. If you try to run from me, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you, even if it means locking you in my bedroom and chaining you to my bed,” he answered me.
My heart twisted in fear. The way Trent was looking at me told me that he would follow through with his threats if I gave him a chance. Did I really want to give him that chance? Did I really want to test him to see if he meant what he said or was just blowing smoke?
“Why do you have a room full of my photographs?” I asked once again. I wouldn’t stop until he gave me a reasonable explanation.
“Like I said, I’m possessive about you. When I first saw your photographs, I knew I couldn’t let the world see this. A beauty like yours should not be exposed to the world, there are many animals who would love to get their hands on you, and I will not allow that to happen. So I took the photographs from Madigan, and every other photograph she took of you.
“You belong to me, bumblebee; and I’m not a man who shares. So I kept your pictures in this room, where no one could see them but me. I told you that you were not as beautiful as my other models, but that was a lie. You are much more beautiful than them. Always have been and always will be. And I will never show your pictures to the world. I would lose you if I did that.” He gently touched my arms, pulling them away from my body.
What was I supposed to say to that? Should I yell? Should I claw his face out? I didn’t know what to do, how to respond to his confession. Trent basically just told me why my pictures never appeared in his magazines. His explanation was twisted and fucked up. My heart reveled in his words but my mind wanted to wage war. I could never reach the peak of my career all because Trent was too possessive.
“What about me? What about my career? I’ll never succeed.” I threw a withering glare in his direction.
“You will succeed. My colleagues and business partners were very impressed by you. And they will offer you jobs, you don’t have to worry about that, sleeping beauty,” Trent replied, a soft smile on his face. He rubbed the pad of thumbs over my hands, soothing me.
“But it won’t be the same. I-If my pictures are in your magazine, then I’ll have a greater chance at success,” I argued.
“Your chances won’t diminish, shady, trust me on that. If I’m doing this then I’m also making sure that other opportunities will be available to you,” he responded.
“Like what?” I couldn’t see what opportunities he was talking about. So far I had gotten no opportunities; but that bitch Tamara has gotten plenty.
“You will accompany me to my trips. You will be with me in every event. My colleagues and business partners will see you there, and you can build a personal rapport with them, which will give you an advantage over the other models,” he informed me.
Now this was what I wanted. This advantage that others didn’t get. And Trent was handing it to me on a silver platter. But was it right to take this advantage? Were Trent’s actions justified just because he was giving me this advantage?
No. No they weren’t.
“Why me, Trent? Why did you pick me, when you have so many women at your disposal?” I questioned.
“You are a smart woman, sleeping beauty. I’m sure you already know the answer to why I did all this,” he said.
“I want you to tell me. My mind tells me the wrong thing most of the times.” I told him.
Trent smiled and cupped my cheek. “Isn’t it obvious…
“I love you.”