Chapter 374
149 Ayla
Laying in bed so much is making me feel a bit grimy so I decide to take another quick shower. Before I took a nap, we finally put all of my clothes in the closet. And while I love wearing Griffin’s clothes. Being able to wear my clothes again feels good too. While the weather is good, the nights still get chilly. And I still get cold easily since being back home. I decided to wear one of my few long–sleeved, maxi dress with long sleeves. Taking a shawl with me to put on if it gets too chilly.
Again, Griffin tells me how beautiful I look, enforcing his compliment. with another chaste kiss. Everybody is already waiting in the private part of the royal garden, so again I pay it no mind. I do not ask him if he is still attracted to me. We promised each other we would be okay at the end of all of this. I just have to believe in that promise, I just have to be- patient. It’s not like I am healed, so maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me again. It could be I am just getting back to the mindset where I doubt everything Griffin does because I am too scared to believe someone so perfect for me could love me the way he does.
“Thanks, Griff you look handsome yourself” Is all I say and I mean it.
Linking my arm with the arm he offers me, we just walk out to the private garden, not saying much. There isn’t much we need to say now. All we need to talk about is more suitable for a conversation with the
others all around us.
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***
After we sat down Dad, started grilling up some meat, and everyone was getting some side dishes. For a few moments when we are filling up our plates, chatting about everything and nothing, it feels like we are just having a nice family dinner. Until Rodrick is the first one to broach the subject, we have all been tiptoeing around.
“Are you ready to hear about everything that has happened in your absence?” He asks
I don’t think I am ready and I am not even sure I am ready to tell Griffin what happened when I was in a coma. If I can even call it that, to me, it felt more like a long lucid dream. Ready or not to move on from this, I need to know all that has happened. And so I look at Rodrick and tell
him:
“Yes, I am ready, in fact, I think I need to know all of this”
Rodrick agrees but pushes Griffin to be the first to talk.
And he does, he tells it all how he didn’t believe the letter for a second. Despite the self–doubt about not being good enough for me. That knowing the real me and how much we loved each other kept him believing. He then told me about the video on his website, and how he just like I suspected put as many hints in the video as he could. Expecting David to show it to me. Hoping it would stop him from
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hurting me more.
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Then he told me about all the resources he used to find me. The desperation he felt when he couldn’t and the getting back to the Blood Moon pack. Hearing that, my parents had tried to be the new rulers. Certainly explained a lot about what happened during my time in the dungeon. That must have been the reason David stopped going back to the pack. Since he no longer had a pack to control with his Alpha command. It was the reason Griffin had gone back so soon after arriving at the Blood Moon pack as a member of the royal family, that he had to. The Elder Council would have made him if he did not go voluntarily.
Heard nobody was able to save the pack, finding out that the pack I grew up in no longer existed. The pack I wanted to become the Luna of in hopes of making it better and stronger was gone, and hurt me: Granted, it was never a good pack, even before the abuse started. Even with most of the wolves in my pack respecting my parents too much to do more than make snide remarks. I had never been happy there because things like rank and strength were too important to all the pack members. Deep down, I knew it was because of the way it was the pack was being led that cost the members to do so.
Selene herself had told me the reason she chose David as my mate and not Griffin was because she hoped I could be the Luna the pack needed. Because she knew that the pack was not going to survive being led the way it had been for generations under the rule of the Birch family.
“I hate I disappointed you, Darling, I tried to save them. I really did. And Mom, Dad, and I have discussed we will come up with new laws to
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make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. I get it isn’t enough you wanted to heal the pack now as your second chance mate I ruined it all” He looks so broken.
All this time I thought I knew how much this had hurt him. But it’s more, he has not only been scared about finding me. Desperate to be with me, his mate, again. No, he has taken on all the weight of the world on his shoulders. He has never referred to himself as my second chance mate. He wouldn’t let anyone refer to us as second–chance mates.
When I asked Dillion about it because Griffin never really answered the question. He told me that Griffin felt there was a negative ring to “second chance” Like it wasn’t as good as being with your fated mate. Your first fated mate, so hearing him refer to himself as the second. chance mate who ruined the plans I made with my first fated mate. Meant he was judging himself too harshly.
Suddenly I knew if I wanted to tell Griffin and the other’s about all that Selene had told me. No matter how Griffin would feel about her and his faith afterward. He needed to know that he had always been the maté that was the most suitable for me. That he wasn’t my second chance, my do–over. Finding him and being with him so I could live my life with the mate that was most suited for me was an apology gift. He didn’t ruin. anything Selene herself had told me she was wrong to have so much. faith in David and me being able to bring the pack back to where it should be. The poison that is the rule of the Birches had spread too far. Sometimes you had to cut off the infected limb to save the rest of the body, and that is exactly what Griffin had done. Together we would make sure no other pack would ever go through something like this.
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Because he was the only one I could ever accomplish something like that
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“Griff I need to tell you something, something you should all know” I started, hoping that this wouldn’t hurt him too much.